From Bad to Worse to Icecream
by SilverScarecrow
Summary: Crack, extreme OOC. What happens when the BO decide to crash an FBI party? Chaos! Contains copious amounts of corn, idiots, drunks, singing, and icecream. Written by Tez-Taylor.
1. Da Plan

A wonderful, crack-filled DC story, featuring the less-than-loveable BO.

Warning: CRACK, extreme OOCness, and some foul language.

Disclaimer: DC belongs to Gosho Aoyama, and this story was written by my good-friend Tez-Taylor. She requested that I post it for her, so I did.

Again, Silver Scarecrow does **_NOT _**own this marvoulous piece of writting! Don't like, that's your problem.

* * *

Gin, who had just finished one, pulled out a box of his favorite cigarettes out of the pocket of his large black overcoat and put one into his mouth. He then used the cigarette lighter in his prized Porsche 356A to light it and then commenced on adjusting the left side mirror. He then looked at his watch, which showed that it was eight o' clock in the morning.

He was waiting for Vodka to leave the motel room. It seemed that Gin's right hand man had over slept today and was running late. Gin got up early as usual but didn't bother to wake his fat friend up. Gin started to get bored of waiting for the late sleeper.

"Vodka! Hurry up already! Or I'm leaving you behind!" Gin shouted finally.

Then, finally, Vodka came rushing out of the motel room. It had seemed he had gotten dressed in a hurry, for his hat was on crooked, his sunglasses were half on, and while he was running, he was trying to pull up his pants.

"I'm here! I'm here!" Vodka shouted as he ran towards the vehicle in a hurry. Then suddenly Vodka managed to trip up on his pant leg and fell face first into the pavement. Vodka had let out a bit of a cry as he landed.

Gin wasn't bothered, nor was he surprised, by this sight. Vodka quickly jumped right back up and then pretended that it had never happened, even though he was clearly about to cry from both the fall and from the embarrassment.

Vodka, not wanting to repeat this act, stopped running and pulled up his pants. He then fixed his hat and sunglasses and dusted off his outfit, which had gotten dirty from the fall. He then trotted over to the right side of the Porsche and got in the passenger seat.

"You okay now?" asked Gin noticing that Vodka was still holding back his tears.

"Huh? Oh, yeah...I'm fine. Just fine..." Vodka responded hesitating a little, his voice was shaky, much like a person who had just stopped crying. "So...where are we going so early in the morning...?"

"Meh, that one chick, err...Vermouth, has come back from a 'secret mission' that she was assigned in Hawaii," Gin said as he started up his car and left the motel parking lot.

"I wish I could go to Hawaii..." Vodka moaned with a sigh.

"I do too," Gin added, "Anyway, we have to pick her up from the airport. Then we have to take her to Chianti's and Korn's apartment."

"Wait, why?" Vodka asked.

"What? You forgot already? We have a mission tomorrow with all of them. I'll explain the whole thing when Vermouth," Gin said while giving an evil smile just thinking of what he plans to do, "Anyway, we still have quite a bit until we make it to the airport. I'm turning on the radio."

"I want my station!" Vodka said turning the radio on for Gin and switching it to his station.

"Vodka," started Gin, "I hate your music..."

"If I don't get my music, I'll cry!" Vodka shouted crossing his arms much like a seven-year-old does when they don't get their way.

"Fine," Gin said fearing having to see Vodka cry for real, "But keep the volume down."

"Yeah!" Vodka shouted smiling. He then turned the music up a bit and his favorite music was blaring in the old vehicle. It was, to Gin's horror, Polka music.

Gin fell silent for the rest of the ride. Vodka, however, somehow managed to learn the lyrics to every single polka song that the station played and song along with them. Gin was beyond the definition of annoyed. He was about to strangle Vodka to death when they finally arrived at the airport.

Vermouth was standing in front of the airport with two suitcases. She had a bit of a pissed look on her face, and Gin knew she was going to start something.

"Finally!" she shouted as she approached the car, "The freaking plane landed at eight thirty! Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting out here?! I could have been mugged!"

"Vermouth..." Gin started, "I hope you realize that it's eight forty, right?"

Vermouth opened her mouth to say something, but hesitated. She was probably trying to think of something to make her not sound like an idiot, "Well... I had to wait a long time!" She then threw her luggage into the back seat of the Porsche and got in next to it. "Are we going, or what?"

"Yeah, whatever..." Gin said pulling out of the airport parking lot, "Vodka, I believe Vermouth gets to pick the radio station now"

"Aww..." Vodka sighed sadly.

"Yeah, that's right Fatty! Turn it to Country!" Vermouth said joyfully.

"I'm not fat..." Vodka mumbled as he turned the station.

_'Thank God!'_ Gin silently thought to himself. He didn't mind Country music as much as polka, which made the ride a lot nicer for him. He began driving in the direction of Chianti's and Korn's apartment complex.

"So, Gin," started Vermouth, "What exactly is the plan for tomorrow? You've left me in the dark until now..."

Gin sighed and began telling his evil plan to them, "Okay, when we get to Chianti's and Korn's apartment, we will be spending the night there with a few other members, they should already be there..."

Vodka interrupted, "Will Kir be there?"

"Yeah...wait, why?" Gin asked a bit puzzled.

"I like Kir..." responded Vodka in a bit of a moronic tone of voice.

"...okay..." responded Gin after a few minutes of silence, "Anyway...then, tomorrow, the FBI nerds are going to be having a party of some sort. I believe it's for FBI James's birthday party, that guy must be ancient now. But, the reason we're going is because every FBI currently located in Japan will be attending."

Vermouth interrupted, "What does this have to do with us?"

"Let me finish!" Gin answered a little annoyed, "the plan is this: We shall disguise ourselves as random FBI members, infiltrate the party, and spy on them!"

The car fell silent for a few seconds. Then Vermouth broke the silence.

"Gin," she started. "I'd have to say one thing about the plan: BEST PLAN EVAH!!!"

Vodka, being the fat suck up he is, agreed with her. Vermouth continued, "Did you think up that plan? Or did the Boss?"

"I did!" Gin responded proudly, "So, do you think it will work?"

"Hell yeah!" shouted Vodka with enthusiasm.

Gin was proud of the idea that he had come up with the night before. He then noticed that they had arrived at Chianti's and Korn's apartment complex.

They all got out of Gin's Porsche after Gin parked it in the parking lot and Gin and Vodka began making their way towards the building. Then they heard Vermouth shouting very mean names at them from the car. She was struggling getting her luggage up to the building. Gin tried to ignore it, but he got tired of it and told Vodka to help her.

"Why do I have to help her?" Vodka asked not wanting to help.

"Because I'm your boss," Gin responded, "Besides, you could use the exercise..."

"I'm not fat!" Vodka said running over to help the screaming Vermouth. Gin waited patiently for the two of them to get to the entrance. Vodka was forced to hold all her bags for her. When they got to the entrance, they all went in and got into the elevator. On the way up, Vodka began humming the elevator music. Gin was about to punch him when the doors opened to Chianti's and Korn's floor.

After a few minutes of searching, a bathroom break, and Vodka getting lost, they finally found their apartment number. They pounded on the door until Chianti answered.

"What in God's fucking name do you want!?!" Chianti answered.

"Chianti..." Gin started, "Do you ever remember the plan...?"

She then stood there for a few seconds thinking about Gin's question. Then she responded, "Oh yeah...what was it again...?"

"Just let us in already..." Gin said as he pushed her out of the way letting the rest of them in.

Inside, Kir was already there and she was sitting on the couch watching TV. The show that she was watching, oddly enough, was Spongebob Squarepants.

"Kir..." Gin started, "What are you doing...?"

"What?!" Kir responded defensively, "Can't a 27 year old women watch Spongebob? Huh? HUH?!"

Gin only gave her a funny look in response. Then Vodka noticed what she was watching and pushed Gin out of the way.

"SPONGEBOB!" Vodka shouted as he jumped onto the couch next to Kir, "Which one is it?!"

As Kir told Vodka what was happening in the episode, Gin saw his chance to escape the stupidity and went into the kitchen. Oddly enough, Korn was cooking dinner there.

"You can cook?" Gin asked.

"...yeah..." Korn answered in hesitation as he always does.

"What are you cooking?" Gin asked as he lifted the top off one of the pots.

"Corn..." Korn answered as he lifted the tops off the dishes, "Corn chowder, corn on the cob, cornbread, and corn pudding..."

Gin gave him a face of disgust and horror. Gin has hated corn since ever since he was very young. His mother forced him to eat corn every day as she went on a drunken rampage in his house shouting about how much she didn't want to have him.

Korn, seeing the face, then forced Gin out of the kitchen with a soup ladle and back into the living room. He returned there only to see grown adults singing along to the theme song of Spongebob. And, for some reason, Vermouth had joined them in this sing along; she appeared to be severely drunk.

Gin was disgusted even further at the sight and decided to go to sleep without dinner. He found Chianti in her room and asked her where he was going to sleep that night.

"Oh," she started, "You're sleeping on the couch in the living room tonight. But with those idiots on it, that might be difficult. You're either gonna have to kindly ask them to move, or tell them to move their asses!"

Gin, even though he was in a bad mood, wanted to try asking nicely. Luckily, Spongebob was ending. He started asking them to move when another show he hated started, Chowder. He decided to try asking anyway.

"Umm...hey, guys..." Gin started, "Could you guys maybe move to another room?"

"Radda?" responded Kir, "Radda radda radda!" This caused a chain reaction among them; they all started speaking to each other saying only "radda."

Gin finally lost it. He pulled his gun out of his pocket and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Get off the fucking couch!" Gin shouted giving them all a death glare. The scare idea actually worked, as all three of them crawled off the couch in a hurry. Chianti, hearing the gun shot, came running out of her room in a hurry.

"Gin!" she started, "What the hell are you doing?! You can't fire a gun in here!"

"Why not?" responded Gin giving her a death glare also. Just as Gin asked this, a small piece of ceiling tile fell off the ceiling and hit Gin on the head. Gin, now having an even worse headache, began to shout every cuss word in the book. All the other members were now fleeing from the room; none of them wished to be singled out for more yelling.

After Gin's little shouting rant, Korn came out of the kitchen as if nothing happened and told them that dinner was ready. Everyone then piled into the kitchen except for Gin. He still didn't feel like eating and tried going to sleep on the couch.

Korn, noticing that Gin hadn't come into the kitchen, went over to the couch with an even sadder face then usual.

"Are you coming to eat?" asked Korn standing over Gin.

Gin wanted to say no, but Korn's face told him not to say it. It made Gin feel that if he said no, Korn was going to break into tears. And one thing Gin hates is when a grown adult male cries. He told him yes and got up. It seemed to make Korn a little happier.

He entered the kitchen with Korn to find the other members eating their corn meals and there was a plate set aside made specially for Gin. Gin walked over, retrieved it, and tried to eat some of it.

This tasked proofed to be quite difficult. Gin, who is easily disgusted, couldn't eat seeing the eating methods of the others. Vodka wasn't even using a spoon. Gin, realizing he wasn't going to be able to eat anything, spooned most of his food onto Vodka's plate when no one was looking. Vodka didn't even notice and continued eating.

He left his plate on the table and ran off to the living room. Before he left the kitchen, however, Chianti stopped him and asked him where his pajamas were.

"I don't have any stupid pajamas..." Gin responded annoyed.

"You can't go to sleep without them! Why not borrow some from someone?" Chianti responded.

"Fine..." Gin responded, "I'll go find some..."

Gin ran off to Korn's room hoping to find some pajamas there. He found plenty with little sniper gun prints on them, but none that Gin liked. Then he found a pair of simple black ones. He ran off quickly to the bathroom and threw them on quickly. He then rushed to the living room hoping to get some well-deserved sleep.

However, when he got out there, Vodka was already sleeping on the couch. He had even stolen Gin's sheepy-blanket! Gin, who had today watched grown adults singing along to Spongebob, had ceiling tile fall on his head, and was almost forced to eat a huge pile of corn, was in no mood to fight with an overweight lazy slob over a couch.

Gin quickly ran over, pulled his sheepy-blanket off Vodka, and kicked him off the couch.

"What the..." moaned Vodka while rubbing his head.

"What are you doing sleeping on my couch with my sheepy-blanket?!" shouted a very angry Gin.

"Your couch?" responded Vodka as he brushed off his Pokemon pajamas, "Chianti told me I was sleeping on the couch."

"Oh really?" responded Gin.

"Yeah really!" snorted Vodka, who only wanted to sleep.

"Chianti!" shouted Gin in annoyance, "What the hell is going on here?!"

Chianti came running out of her room wearing a pair of bull-eye print pajamas and asked what the problem was.

"What do you mean what's the problem?! You told Vodka to sleep on my couch!" Gin shouted even more annoyed.

"That is where he's sleeping...moron..." Chianti responded while yawning, "You guys are sharing. We have limited beds, I'm actually sharing Korn's bed with him and Vermouth and Kir have my bed for the night."

"But why do I have to share a little couch with Vodka?" Gin asked.

"Nah, it's okay. The couch has a fold out bed," she said as she pulled out the fold out mattress for them, "Okay? See? Now go to bed and stop yelling..."

"You'll pay for this, Chianti..." Gin said under his breath as Chianti returned to her room for the night. Gin then got onto the bed and covered himself up with his sheepy blanket. Vodka then also tried to get onto the bed along side Gin.

"Vodka," Gin started, "I don't care what Chianti said...you're not sleeping on this bed..."

"But...but..." Vodka whimpered, "Where will I be sleeping...?"

Gin, predicting his question, pointed at the ground to the right of the bed. Vodka moaned a bit and then lowered himself to the ground and curled up into a ball and attempted to fall asleep.

_'Finally!'_ Gin thought to himself as he realized he could finally fall asleep. He moved himself into a more comfortable position and closed his eyes. He was just about to fall asleep when Vodka began snoring, and loudly.

_'And this is why I should have killed Vodka when I had the chance...' _Gin thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep...

* * *

To be continued...

RR, please! ^^

Note: I didn't do much editing, so any mistakes you find, feel free to point them out.

~SS


	2. Corn and Disguises

Yes. Chapter two of crack filled FBI/BO madness.

Once again: The author is Tez-Taylor. Blame her, I have no part in this XD

* * *

Gin woke up around eight o'clock the next morning to a beam of light that was coming from a near by window that was partially open. The birds outside were chirping and the day looked bright and sunny.

Gin wanted to get some more sleep, but then he noticed that something was hugging his right leg. He looked over to his foot and saw Vodka, who was still on the ground and was sleeping, was hugging his foot. Gin assumed that he was doing this thinking it was a stuffed animal plush.

Annoyed, he pulled his foot out from Vodka's grasp. This caused Vodka to hit his head because the leg was supporting his head as he slept and he woke up from the fall.

Gin, still sleepy, tried to go back to sleep. However, when he tried to turn onto his side, he noticed that something was hugging his left arm. He looked over and saw that the person was none other then Vermouth. It appears that she somehow found her way into Gin's bed and had fallen asleep there.

When Gin realized that it was Vermouth, and that she was sleep in his bed for an unknown amount of time, jumped quickly out of the bed and began shouting.

"What the hell, Vermouth?!" Gin shouted and woke her up.

"Huh? What's with all the noise, Ginnie?" Vermouth asked rubbing the sleepies out of her eye.

"Don't call me Ginnie!" he shouted even louder, "What are you doing in my bed?!"

"Fine, I'll call you Kelly then. It fits you better anyway," she said with a grin, "Well, you see, Kelly, me and Kir had to share Chianti's bedroom. I couldn't sleep, however. Mostly because Kir took up more then her half of the bed and cover. Then she started talking in her sleep! Something about some kid named 'Eisuke'. And what made it worse was that Chianti keeps guns all over her wall. Freaked me out a bit, I couldn't sleep under such horrible conditions...

"Anyway, I came out here to get a glass and water. Then I noticed that you had gotten the couch bed all to yourself. So I decided to just sneak in there and..."

"You better not have done anything!" shouted Gin realizing what she could have done to him with the chance she had.

"Don't worry, I was too bothered by Vodka's snoring, it ruined the mood," she said looking displeased. "But if you still want to, Kelly, we can make ourselves a quick dry martini later..."

"Don't call me 'Kelly'! And stop using that stupid joke already!" shouted Gin even louder. By this time, other members have woken up and were just as angry at him as he was to her.

"Gin!" Chianti shouted as she came running out of Korn's bedroom, "Will you shut up already! I was having the best dream ever until you started yelling and woke me up, you jackass!"

"But Vermouth..." Gin started in defense, which only made him sound more like a child.

"I don't care what Vermouth did! You shouldn't be shouting at eight in the fucking morning!" responded Chianti actually shouting louder than Gin was now.

"Fine then..." said an angry Gin, "Well, get Korn and the rest of them up. Might as well get ready to go. It's gonna take Vermouth awhile to do our disguises."

Chianti went into Korn's room and started yelling for poor Korn to wake up. Gin got out of the bed finally deciding to eat some breakfast. He was fairly hunger, after all that happened last night. He went to the kitchen looking for cereal. However, in all the cabinets was one thing: corn.

'How could Korn eat this much corn and still be alive?' Gin asked himself. He finally found a box of cereal, which turned out to be a box of Corn Pops. He didn't really care though.

'Well, at least it's a cereal...' thought Gin to himself as he poured a bowl of Corn Pops and poured the milk in. As Gin started eating them, he realized how delicious they really were.

As Gin was enjoying his cereal, the quietness, or at least what one can call quietness in Chianti's and Korn's apartment, was broken by the screaming of Kir. Gin, upon hearing the scream, freaked out and spilled some of his cereal out of the bowl.

'What now...?' Gin thought to himself as he pulled his gun out of its holster and ran to Chianti's room, where Kir was staying. Outside her room, Chianti and Korn had their guns at hand, ready to bargain in on Gin's command. Gin gave them the signal and they quickly opened the door and held their guns directed at Kir's bed, thinking that someone was attacking her.

When they opened the door, Kir was out of her bed holding part of the cover up to her body with a scared look on her face. Gin was curious as to why she was out of the bed until he looked as to who was in the bed instead.

In the bed under what little cover was still on the bed, was a fluffy light brown haired man who appeared to be in his late twenties. He wore a pair of oval shaped glasses that hide his thin eyes from everyone. He appeared as if he had only just woken up.

After scratching his head a bit, it seemed as if he was observing the room up until he noticed everyone was pointing guns at him and a scared Kir standing near the bed. Upon noticing the guns, he shot his arms up in the air in a stopping gesture.

"Woah! Woah!" he said straightening his glasses on his face, "What's going on here?!"

"That's our line, buddy..." Gin said with a cold stare, "Who are you? And what were you doing in bed with Kir...?"

"My name? I'm Okiya Subaru," said the man giving a small bow, "Now, as to why I'm here, I don't really know..."

"How could you not know...?" Gin asked not impressed.

"I don't really know. I guess I just found my way into this room and made my way into the bed of this fine lady over here," answered Okiya flashing a smile in Kir's way. Kir blushed red in response.

"He complemented Kir! He must be an FBI spy!" Gin shouted while aiming his gun towards Okiya's head.

"No!" Kir shouted while jumping in front of Gin's gun, "Don't shoot him!"

"Why not?" responded Gin smugly because he was looking to kill.

"Come on..." she said in a bit of a sarcastic tone of voice, "Tell me Gin, if the FBI wanted to spy on us, why would the send this guy? He's clearly not smart..."

"Hmm..." Gin studied Okiya, who was currently picking his nose, "I'll give you that. However, he's seen our faces and he's in our bases. What should we do with him now?"

"I know!" Kir responded with happiness, "He could join the organization!"

"Maybe..." Gin responded to Kir, then he turned towards Okiya and asked, "Are you willing to join an evil organization?"

"Sure," responded Okiya with an evil grin, "Just be aware that I like to party!"

"That's great!" responded Kir joyfully; "We have to go to a party today!" she turned towards Gin, "Can he come? Please, please, please!!!"

"Sure...I guess it'll be less obvious if we had more people with us," Gin said uncaring.

"Thank you Gin!" Kir said giving Gin a quick hug. Gin, who was very tired of people waking up with other people in their beds who weren't there the night before, returned to the kitchen and finished his Corn Pops.

He sat at the kitchen table and silently ate his beloved cereal as he watched everyone scramble around the apartment trying to get read to go. Some would also come into the kitchen and grab some food, but they wouldn't stay long.

After finishing his third bowl of cereal, he quickly went to the bathroom to change his clothing. However, since the FBI knows what they look like, he changed into a suit like outfit to get ready for the disguise that Vermouth will make for him.

He finished getting dressed and left the bathroom to see Vodka in the hallway. Vermouth had already finished his disguise and Vodka was looking at it in a mirror. However, she clearly didn't take much time on it; it looked as if all she did was remove his sunglasses and hat and made him wear a different colored suit.

"What do you think?" Vodka asked with a smile.

"I think you look like FBI Camel..." Gin said after examining his disguise a bit more.

"Meh," Vodka responded without care, "Not enough to get us caught, right?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever..." Gin said not really caring neither. He then left Vodka to go to the living room. There, he found Vermouth working on Chianti's disguise.

"What do you think, Kelly?" Vermouth asked showing him Chianti's face. Chianti's disguise was basically just a brighter outfit design than usual and she wore makeup that covered up her tattoo.

"Meh...she looks more like a chick than she usually does," replied Gin not caring once again.

"Are you saying I didn't look like one before!?" Chianti shouted angrily.

"Maybe..." Gin replied sarcastically, "Now move! It's my turn..."

"Fine!" she said as she got up, "I'm going to get everyone ready while Vermouth makes you look purdy..."

"Get out of here already!" Gin snapped at her. Chianti then snorted a little and left the room.

Gin sighed and mumbled to Vermouth, "Let's hurry this up, okay?"

"Okay! Any idea what you want to look like?" Vermouth said as she took off Gin's hat.

"I don't really care..." Gin replied.

"Well, right now I'm considering pulling your hair back into a ponytail. That should make you look pretty, Kelly!" Vermouth said jokingly.

"No!" Gin snapped at her viciously.

"It's either that, or I'll have to disguise you as a chick. Want to blame someone? Blame yourself for having long hair," Vermouth said giving a bit of a chuckle.

Gin thought for a few seconds. He could either go as the quite obvious business man with a ponytail or a chick, only giving Vermouth more "Kelly" jokes. Then Gin finally got an idea.

"How's this: You tie my hair back into a ponytail, but hide it under a mask of sorts? Would that work out?" Gin asked willingly.

"Of course! That's what I always do!" Vermouth replied.

"Why didn't you suggest it earlier?"

"What's the fun in that? I want to see you in a ponytail!"

Gin gave her a quick glare, but she only laughed and asked, "So, what do you want to be? An older man, a chick, or Freakazoid?"

"An older man I guess," Gin responded quickly, "...Freakazoid?"

"Okay!" Vermouth said cheerfully as she pulled Gin's hair back into a ponytail and tied it. She then grabbed her suitcase full of disguises and searched through it until she found a mask of an older man. She then applied the mask to Gin's face after hiding his ponytail.

"All good, now?" she then asked holding up a mirror.

"Meh, good enough," he responded while getting up, "Now you put on a disguise. We have to get going soon."

Just as Gin had gotten up, Chianti had walked into the room with the rest of the morons. Korn's disguise, like Chianti's, was very simple. Just a normal suit without his usual hat and goggles. However, he now had on Vodka's sunglasses.

Kir's disguise was a little odd. Her face was unchanged, except for the very large pair of glasses now resting on her nose. She also now had a black pixie styled wig on and wore some average teenage clothes. She overall looked like a male version of herself.

Okiya's clothes were no different then what he wore earlier.

"Hey!" Vodka shouted when he noticed Okiya's normalness, "Why doesn't he get a disguise?!"

"Because the FBI don't know he's a member..." Gin sighed at Vodka's usual stupidity.

"What do you think, Kelly?" Vermouth asked getting up after finishing her disguise. Gin examined it for a few seconds then gave his answer.

"I'm seeing a bit of a problem here, Vermouth," Gin started, "You look a lot like FBI Jodie..."

She really did. She had a short blond wig and clothes similar to Jodie's usual wardrobe.

"Also," Gin said holding up the mirror to his face and examining it for a second, "I look a lot like FBI James without glasses."

"No you don't..." Vermouth claimed.

"Prove me wrong," Gin said sternly to her. She feel silent for Gin did look just like James with the suit and mask.

"That's right..." Gin said smugly, "And just look at Vodka! He's fucking FBI Camel! We might as well change Kir's disguise to Akai Shuichi!"

"I'd like to see you do a better job!" Vermouth replied sounding a bit upset.

"Vermouth, if we get caught because of our disguises," Gin said annoyed, "I swear, I'll shoot five shotgun rounds into your fucking face!"

"Fine, fine, baby..." Vermouth said snobbily, "But we won't get caught, because my disguises are flawless!"

"Okay, enough!" Gin said realizing the time, "We've got to get going, people! Chianti, Korn, and Vermouth take Chianti's Viper and the rest take my Porsche."

"Hey!" Chianti yelled, "Why can't you take Vermouth? You know I hate that bitch!"

"Would you rather have these idiots with you?" Gin asked pointing at his group of passengers. Kir was currently playing with Okiya's rather fluffy hair and Okiya was conversing with Vodka about an alcohol that he liked called "Bourbon."

Chianti thought for a moment. Then said, "Fine, I'll take Vermouth, but she has to sit in the trunk!"

"Hey!" Vermouth said in protest, "I'm not staying in the trunk!"

"That's fine by me," Gin interrupting Vermouth, "Let's just go. The party starts in an hour!"

They soon left Chianti's and Korn's apartment and made their way to their cars.

"Chianti, the party is being held at the Hilton. You can drive there ahead of me," Gin said while getting into his Porsche.

Chianti then got into her Viper, then Korn got in on the passenger's side and Vermouth tried getting in.

"What do you think you're doing?" asked Chianti locking the back doors.

"I'm getting in..." Vermouth glared at Chianti.

"I wasn't kidding about the trunk thing..." Chianti said grinning while opening the trunk for Vermouth. Vermouth swore under her breath as she walked over to the back of the car and got into the trunk. She feared the ride before her.

She started up the Viper, and waited for Gin's signal to go. He gave it and she drove out of the parking lot towards the Hilton.

Gin gave the signal now for everyone else to get into his car. Vodka got the front seat and Kir and Okiya got the back. They took off after Chianti's car.

The Porsche was silent for a few minutes. Gin liked this, but of course someone had to break the silence. This time, it was Kir.

"Hey!" she started, "Why don't we sing a song!"

"Yeah!" Vodka said happily, "Let's sing the 'Fun Song'!"

"That sounds just awesome!" Okiya said giving a smile.

'Oh God no!' Gin thought to himself as they started.

"F is for friends that do stuff together! U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all! Down here in the deep blue sea!"

"Okay guys, let's stop singing," pleaded Gin annoyed.

"Shut up, Plankton!" replied Okiya, who then continued to sing.

"I'm serious guys, stop!" Gin said in a more serious tone.

"Never!" shouted Vodka, encouraging the rest of them to sing even louder.

Gin lost his patience on that one. This time, he yelled, "Okay then! If you don't stop sing right now, I'm gonna pull over right now, kick your asses out of the car, and personally shove my foot up your asses until you're crying!!!"

The car feels silent yet again. It was silent for half of the trip. Everyone feared pissing Gin off again. But Vodka clearly didn't care what happened to him.

"So...Okiya..." he started, "How did you find your way into Kir's bed last night anyway?"

"Oh that?" Okiya responded, "Well, that's a bit of an odd tale..."

"Wait," Gin said interrupting Okiya, "Now you remember what happened last night?"

"Umm...yeah..." Okiya responded hesitantly, he clearly feared Gin a bit, "Earlier, you guys where holding guns up to my head. Wouldn't you panic a little if that happened to you?"

"No..." Gin responded with a cold stare.

"Well, I did...Any who..." he continued, "Last night, I was driving home from the university I attend when I saw something white up in the sky. It was that one thief, you know, the Kaitou Kid of sorts.

"Anyway, it appeared that he had just ran from a heist. I decided to chase after him; I wanted whatever he had just stolen! I eventually followed him to a large apartment complex. I used the elevator to get to the top of the apartment. He was at the corner of the roof looking at his catch. I saw my chance to grab the hem and went for it...

"However, luck was not on my side. He saw me coming from behind him and pulled the gem away before I grabbed it. Unfortunately, I didn't react quickly enough and fell off the edge of the building.

"I thought I was done for. But then that white suited man saved me. After I fell, he engaged his hand glider and flew down and caught me."

"Wait..." Gin interrupted, "What does this have anything to do with Kir?"

"Hold on," Okiya answered, "I'm getting there. Anyway, then he glided down to the fire escape of your apartment building and dropped me there. He then tilted his hat to me and flew off with his treasure in hand.

"Now, I was a little tired from chasing down the thief and from almost dying. So I went into the room via the window and collapsed into the bed without even looking to see if there was someone already in it. Then I feel asleep only to wake up to this sexy women screaming and you guys aiming guns at me!"

"Wow," Gin said when Okiya had finished the story, "What was one God awful story..."

"Well..." Kir interrupted, "I thought it was a wonderful story! Especially the 'sexy women' part!" She then gave Okiya a small kiss on his cheek. Both gave a very cheerful smile at each other.

"I could have pulled a better story out of my ass..." Gin mumbled to himself as he pulled into the parking lot of the Hilton. Chianti, Korn, and a shaken Vermouth were already in front of the hotel. Gin pulled into a parking space and they all got out of the car and met up with the rest of the group.

"Okay, Gin," Chianti said when they walked up, "Which ballroom is the party located?"

"If I recall correctly," he responded, "It's in Ballroom 3. Now there's a chance they'll look for I.D. Here's your fake I.D.'s just incase they do," he said as he passed out the I.D.'s to everyone, "Okiya, since you weren't originally suppose to be here, you'll have to act as Kir's mentally ill brother who needs to be watched at all time..."

"Okay....wait, what?!" Okiya responded when he realized what he agreed to.

"Gin..." Vermouth interrupted, "What's up with our fake names?"

"What about them?" Gin asked annoyed.

"Let's see..." Vermouth responded, "Apparently, I'm Sakura Haruno, Vodka's Choji Akimichi, Chianti's Hinata Hyuga, Korn's Neji Hyuga, and Kir's Kakashi Hatake."

"Yeah," Gin responded, "and I'm Naruto Uzamaki, what's wrong with that?!"

"Know what?!" she said angrily, "Do whatever you want! If we get caught because of the I.D.s, it'll be your fault."

"Whatever..." he said as they got to the entrance of Ballroom 3.

They were greeted at the door by FBI Camel.

"Hello," he said in English, "Welcome to the party. May I see your I.D.s?"

They all handed him their I.D.s. He eyed all of them carefully and then noticed Okiya.

"Oh!" Kir said noticing Camel looking at Okiya, "This is my brother, Okiya. He has a few mental diseases and needs to be watched. We couldn't get a baby sitter tonight!"

"Okay, all checks out then," said Camel handing back their I.D.s, "Enjoy the party!"

'Awesome!' Gin thought to himself, 'I can't believe it actually worked!' Gin and the rest of the group then walked into the doors that Camel opened for them. They party had already begun.

* * *

_-snorts-_ PSHAW. Naruto reference XD

Read and Review. Tell her how crazy this fic is!!

~SS

EDIT: Calling Gin "Kelly" is an inside joke. Don't ask XD


	3. Da End

Whatever.

This is the last chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

Inside of the Ballroom, the room was full of color. Streamers and party hats were everywhere. There looked like they had busted open a piñata earlier and there was candy everywhere. Even the tables, which were covered in American dishes and lots of fine wines, had some candy on it. Most of the people attending were American and Japanese men and women wearing suits and dress outfits. Some were eating while some were drinking.

Gin then noticed their main targets, FBI James and Jodie. James appeared to be talking to some 7 year old child with black hair and a red bowtie. Gin wondered how for a sec how the kid got into the party, but then figured that he was James's nephew or something. Jodie, however, was drinking several glasses of what appeared to be Sherry

"Alcohol!!!" shouted Okiya as he ran off from Gin's group toward Jodie's table.

"Hey!" Gin shouted at Okiya, "Keep a low profile!" he turned to Kir, "Keep an eye on him!"

"Okay!" Kir responded with a smile as she ran after Okiya.

"Now the rest of you," Gin said turning to the rest of his group, "We must find out what the FBI's next plan of attack is. Vermouth, you keep an eye on FBI Camel. If possible, ask him a question or two."

"Okay!" said Vermouth obediently and walked over to where Camel was.

"Chianti and Korn, I want you to keep an eye on James and question him," said Gin to them.

"Okie dokie!" said Chianti as she and Korn walked over to Camel.

"Vodka!" said Gin to his partner, "You come with me."

"Yay!" replied Vodka with a goofy grin because he knew that Gin would do all the work for him. Vodka followed Gin over to Jodie's table to check on Kir's progress. However, she seemed to be having trouble.

"Yeah…" Jodie started, "You guys are great!" Gin then realized Jodie was very drunk out of her mind, "We should like, you know, hang out more together! Do you think so, Glasses?"

"Sure…" Kir answered unamused.

"Cheer up, Kir!" Okiya was also clearly drunk.

"Okiya! Low profile!" Gin whispered, "Don't use our codenames."

"Actually," Jodie said examining Kir closely, "You do look very familiar…"

"No I don't!" Kir said quickly in defense.

"No, no…" Jodie answered, "I know who you are!"

"No you don't!' Kir said as she started to panic.

"You're that one kid…Oh yeah…Eisuke!" said Jodie happy she remembered.

"Who?" asked Gin joining in the conversation.

"Eisuke, that one kid," Jodie continued, "Don't you remember me?"

Kir looked to Gin asking for an answer, Gin shrugged his shoulders and made a hand motion that told her to play along with it.

"Yeah… We had some fun times…" Kir answered cautiously.

"Oh good! I remembered correctly! How's it going? You become that CIA agent you wanted to be?"

"Umm…" Kir continued even more cautious trying not to reveal too much to Gin and to not blow her cover, "Not yet. But I'm getting there…"

"Good, good," Jodie continued drinking another shot glass of Sherry. She then noticed Vodka, "Hey! Camel!"

"Umm…" Vodka also looked to Gin for guidance. Gin did the same motion that he did to Kir to tell him to go with it. Vodka then answered, "Umm… How's it going, Jodie?"

"I want you to do the Truffle Shuffle!" Jodie shouted holding up her glass.

"Uhh…no…?" Vodka said looking to Gin for more guidance. Even Gin didn't know how to respond to this one.

"Do it!!!" Jodie shouted. She appeared to be a loud drunk.

"Please," plead Vodka, "I really don't want to!"

"Meh…Fine!" Jodie shouted, "But you're gonna do it later for me!" Vodka was okay with that because he knew that it wouldn't be him doing it but the real Camel.

Gin, at this point, realized he probably wasn't going to be getting any real information from Jodie. He also realized that, if left alone, Okiya might blow their cover.

"Hey," Gin started, "Okiya and I are going to go get something to eat. Vod…err…Camel, you stay here with…Eisuke…and Jodie."

"Okay!" said Jodie still drunk, "See ya later, James! And happy birthday!"

'Damn that Vermouth… These disguises suck!' Gin thought to himself, 'I can only hope nothing else goes wrong…'

Gin and Okiya made their way over to Chianti and Korn, who were talking to FBI James. Okiya was so drunk now that he had to lean on Gin to walk.

James noticed Gin and said, "Good day there, old chap! My, I don't recall your face, what be your name?"

"Umm…" Gin struggled to remember his fake name, "Naruto…"

"Naruto…" James said thinking, "That doesn't sound familiar. When did you transfer to Japan?"

"Just this morning," answered Gin who started to worry his cover might be blown soon.

"Ah, that's grand, my boy!" James said handing Gin a glass of wine, "Who might that young lad on your should be?"

"He's no one," Gin said putting the glass on a near by table, "Now, since I'm new, I'd like to know what our next plan of attack against the evil Black Organization members will be?"

"All work and no play make Naruto a dull boy," James said with a smile. He continued after seeing Gin's confused face, "Let's relax! It's my birthday!"

Chianti finally joined the conversation, "Yeah….err…Naruto! Tis a party!!!"

'Ahh crap!' thought Gin, 'Now Chianti's drunk!'

"Umm…" Gin started realizing Chianti is more likely to blow the mission than Okiya because she's a loud drunk, "Neji! Why don't you take Hinata to the car to lie down for a bit?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever…" said Korn as he took Chianti out the front doors.

Just as they left, James said, "Oh! It's just time to cut the cake! Won't you boys join me?"

Before Gin could say no, Okiya said, "Hell yeah! Is it by chance a whiskey cake?"

"Not sure yet. Come along, gentlemen," James said walking towards the massive cake. James then grabbed a microphone and announced for everyone to come to the cake table also. Jodie, Kir, and Vodka joined Gin and Okiya in front of the crowd waiting for the cake.

James spoke into the microphone, "I would like to tell all of you how happy I am that you came to my birthday party. I shall now start to cut the…"

Okiya grabbed the microphone before James would finish his sentence and started to speak into it, "Yeah…that James fellow…is one great guy! I'd…uhhh…also like to point out a few of my best buddies…!"

He stumbled his way towards Kir. He tripped half way over and all the FBI members laughed thinking this was all a joke.

He quickly got up and spoke into the mike pointing at Kir, "Ya see this pretty chick right here? Her name is Kir! And she's my new women!"

'Wait…Did he just refer to her by her codename?!' thought Gin realizing what the drunk was saying.

"And this chick right here," continued Okiya now pointing at the drunken Jodie, "She's my new drinking buddy whose name I have yet to learn!"

"Hell yeah!" Jodie said smiling, "…wait…Did you just refer to Eisuke as Kir…?"

"That's her name, no?" responded Okiya. Kir became the center of attention for the FBI and she started panicking.

Okiya continued, "And this fine fat fellow is Vodka!" he said patting Vodka on the back.

"Hey!" Vodka said in retaliation, "I'm not fat!"

"Yes you are, Vodka," Okiya said smiling, "You're fatter than a fucking cow!"

Jodie asked, "And you just referenced to Camel as Vodka…"

"He's not Camel! I am!" Camel shouted out noticing Vodka.

Now all eyes were on Kir and Vodka. Both of them were looking at Gin for guidance and help.

Gin was getting tired of Okiya's game and quickly covered his mouth with his hand. Okiya began flailing and grabbed for Gin's face to let him go. However, Okiya accidentally ripped off Gin's mask exposing his true face and hair to the FBI. Everyone fell silent in the room for a second. Jodie then broke the silence.

"Black Organization!!!" she shouted pointing at Gin, "Let's get them!"

Then every FBI member in the room pulled out their guns and pointed them at Gin, Okiya, Kir and Vodka.

"Now, now," Gin started trying to attract the FBI's attention. He made hand motions at Kir to tell her to take the rest of them and make a run for it. She nodded and Gin continued, "Just because we may have crashed your party, and may have brought a bloody drunkard, that doesn't make us the Black Organization, now does it?"

"It does a little…" Jodie started holding her gun a little disoriented, "I mean, you do look like Gin…"

"This is my back up disguise!" Gin said checking if Kir and the rest were gone yet. They had made it to the doors to the ballroom. Gin motioned for them to leave and they ran out. Gin sighed and continued, "I'm a CIA member, you see. I'm here to check up on you FBI guys, you understand?"

"Oh, so you're with Hidemi's group, then?" asked James.

"Umm…yeah…" Gin responded not even knowing who Hidemi was.

"Okay," said Jodie walking up to Gin holding out her hand, "Let's see your I.D. then…"

"Umm…" Gin said trying to stall, "I left it in my….. Screw it!" Gin punched Jodie in the face and then made a creak for the doors. Most of the FBI tried to help Jodie while others ran after Gin.

Gin made it out the front door of the hotel and found Vodka pulling up the Porsche opening up the passenger side door. Gin quickly jumped in and Vodka drove away before the FBI caught them. Korn followed closely in the Viper.

The Porsche fell silent as everyone in there took off their disguises. Okiya had fallen asleep on Kir's lap and Kir was petting his hair as he slept.

Vodka broke the silence, "Do you think that they're still following us?"

"No," said Gin in response, "Mission failure, everyone."

"I'm not sure about that," Kir said still petting Okiya, "We got little Bon-Bon here. And we got free booze and food."

"True," Gin said, "However I never drank or ate anything there. I was actually trying to do the mission…" he said glaring at Okiya, "Also, did you just call him Bon-Bon?"

"Well, Gin," Vodka interrupted, "Do you want me to stop by a fast food joint or something?"

"I guess so. Just stop at the next food place you see," said Gin now looking out the window.

Vodka drove for a few minutes and then turned into a parking lot. Vodka and Gin got out of the car and waited in front of the building for Kit to wake up Okiya and for Chianti and Korn to show up.

Gin then looked up at the sigh of the restaurant. It was none other than Baskin Robbins. Gin smacked Vodka in the back of the head after reading it.

"Ow!" Vodka moaned holding his head, "Why'd you do that?"

"What do you think?" Gin responded while pointing at the sign.'

"You said the first fast food joint. Blame your self," Vodka said rubbing the back of his head. Just then, Kir came out of the Porsche letting Okiya lean on her shoulder for support. Then the Viper pulled up. Korn came out also letting Chianti lean against his shoulder.

"Baskin Robbins? I love Baskin Robbins!" Chianti shouted in a drunken voice.

"Yeah, sure, whatever…" Gin said opening the front door entering.

The inside of the building was cold. There were only a few teenagers in the store. Gin walked up to the counter with the rest of the group. The cashier was a young, dark skinned boy. He had black hair with a small Baskin Robbins employee hat on.

"Welcome to Baskin Robbins, what ice-cream would ya like?" asked the teenager in an Osaka accent.

"Boy! You sure got a funny accent!" shouted Okiya pointing and laughing at the teen.

"Umm…yes," Vodka started, "I'll take one scoop of strawberry."

"I'll take a scoop of chocolate, please, said Kir next.

"I'll take one of Bourbon!" shouted Okiya waving his arm.

"He'll just take some chocolate…" said Kir slightly annoyed with Okiya.

"Chianti will have a scoop of vanilla," said Korn noticing Chianti had fallen asleep on his shoulder, "Since I'm pretty sure you don't have a corn flavor, I'll have cookie dough."

"That's all good," said the Osaka boy, "What about you, sir?"

"Uhh…" said Gin trying to pick a flavor, "I guess I'll take a scoop off bubble gum…"

The Osaka kid gave him an odd look, probably because he's never heard of a tough looking blond dude ordering bubble gum ice-cream.

"It'll take just a few minutes…" he said finally getting the ice-cream cones.

"Of course we have to wait!" Okiya shouted. He then tried to stand on his own and started staggering off towards the other side of the shop, "I'm gonna go sit down at a table!"

"We really shouldn't leave him alone," said Vodka, "Now after what happened at the party…"

"Fine, we can all go find a table…" Gin said following the drunken Okiya to the tables. Okiya soon lost his balance and tripped on his face next to a seated teenage boy. The boy's hair was a dark brown and was very fluffy. The boy, being a good person, got up and helped Okiya get up.

"You okay, sir?" asked the boy.

"Yeah…" Okiya said, then he smelled the teen's hand for some reason, "Say, you smell familiar…"

"Ah…" said the teen in a panic, "No I don't!"

"Smell?" asked Gin really confused and disturbed.

"Yeah, you smell like that Kaitou Kid fellow…" said Okiya getting up finally and studying the boy's face.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" said the teen, "I have to go now! See ya!" The boy then ran out of the front door in a hurry. Okiya then took the boy's seat and invited the rest of them to sit down at his table.

All but Gin sat down, Kir sat next to Okiya and played with his hair still. Chianti was still drowsy and was laying her head on the table and Korn sat down next to her. Gin was about to sit down when Vodka took the last seat. Gin gave him a death glare and freaked Vodka out. He was about to get up when Gin sighed and pulled over a chair from another table.

Gin was again suffering from a headache. The cause was either the events that occurred at the party or from the strong smell of ice-cream. All he wanted to do now was head back to Chianti's and Korn's apartment and go to sleep.

Soon, the Osaka kid called their order number on the microphone and Gin and Vodka rose from their seats to pick up the ice-cream. When they got up to the counter, the Osaka Kid had a bit of a scared face on.

"Here's your ice-cream, sir…" he said in a shaky voice. He then handed Vodka the ice-cream cones. Then Gin knew why he was scared.

"Hey…" started Gin, "Where's my ice-cream…?"

"Oh…ah…" asked the teen even more panicked, "Ya see…we sort ran out…"

"…ran out…?" asked Gin trying to hold back his anger.

"Umm…" responded the teen.

"Umm…yes…Is there something else ya want ta order?" asked the teen.

Gin finally lost his sanity. He grabbed the boy by his shirt and pulled him over the counter.

"Listen here, moron!" Gin shouted, "I woke up this morning next to a women I hated and don't even know if she did something to me the night before and was forced to eat fuckin' Corn Pops! Then I was trapped in a car with those idiots as the sung the fuckin' Fun Song! Then I had to hang out with my enemies, who were drunk, by the way, at a fuckin' party! And then they chased me out of said party at gun point! And now you're telling me that I can't have a fucking' bubble gum ice-cream cone?!"

"Don't get angry at me, dude!" yelped the teen partially in tears for fear of getting the crap beaten out of him over ice-cream, "That kid over there got the last scoop!"

Gin's attention was now directed in the teen was pointed at. He was pointing at a teen around the Osaka boy's age; however it wasn't clear what the kid's gender was. After a closer look, Gin could tell it was a boy. The boy looked a lot like Kir, only more masculine. He had a black pixie cut hair style and wore large round glasses. He actually looked a lot like Kir's disguise for the party. He was sitting all alone at a table with the last scoop of bubble gum ice-cream.

The boy took a lick of the ice-cream and put a disgusted expression on his face. He got up after the first lick and threw the entire ice-cream cone in the garbage can. Gin was outraged from this sight. He let go of the Osaka boy's shirt letting his go, stormed over to the boy and grabbed the kid by his shirt in much a similar fashion he did to the Osaka boy.

"What the hell did you do that for!?" shouted Gin.

"Oh God! Please don't hurt me!" whimpered the boy.

"I asked you a question!" shouted Gin, "Now answer it!"

"I hate sweets!" explained the boy in a panic, "But I do like bubble gum a little bit! I wanted to try and see if I liked bubble gum ice-cream, but it turns out I don't! So I threw it away! Please don't hurt me!"

"Hurt you?! You're gonna need a hundred plastic surgeons when I'm done with you!" shouted Gin as he began to beat the living crap out of the teen.

Okiya started cheering on Gin's beating, while Kir begged him to stop, saying something about her brother. Gin didn't hear anything. All he could hear was the teen crying like a little girl.

Everyone else in the room watched as Gin beat the teen as they ate their ice-cream cones. Vodka also enjoyed the show but then suddenly had a thought, a rare occurrence from Vodka.

"Say, guys…" he started, "Where's Vermouth?"

Meanwhile, at the FBI's party.

"Man! You guys sure are great at throwing parties!" shouted Vermouth drinking a glass of wine as some FBI members danced to loud music. She was still in her disguise and she was talking to James.

"Thank you, uhh…" James tried to remember, "What did you say your name was?"

"Meh, just call me Chris. Or Sharon. I really don't care!" shouted Vermouth enjoying another glass, "I guess I'll stay here until the parties over then!"

* * *

Hope ya'll liked it. Read and Review much appreciated. ~Tez-Taylor


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